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Thought Catalog

1. You do things when you say you are going to do them.

Once upon a time, you would tell your friend that you would help him move on Saturday. Saturday morning came around, and 8 AM felt way, way earlier than you remembered it feeling, and you texted him last-minute with some bogus story about how you are feeling sick. (Which was technically true, I suppose, you just pickled your own body with vodka shooters and then beat it while it was down with a sack of Taco Bell. That is a kind of sickness, technically.) Either way, you weren’t going to do it.

Today, though, you generally know better than to agree to things when you have no intention of following up on them, and you don’t bail out for incredibly petty reasons when you are inconvenienced. Even when it is early in the morning. No matter how…

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Thought Catalog

“Life isn’t a Nicholas Sparks novel,” my friend told me over lunch. “You have your whole life to be in love — now is the time to build your career, to adventure, to change your mind.”

I was talking about relationship plans and how they would tie in with all of the other, non-love things going on in my life. She believed, as so many people do, that assigning great importance to a relationship in one’s early-to-mid 20s is necessarily coming at the cost of a clear head and a direct path towards some vague notion of Greatness that the universe owes us. In her eyes, either my relationship falls perfectly in line with my varying life plans, or it must be excised like a cancer to allow me to fully spread my metaphorical wings.

(I don’t even like Nicholas Sparks.)

(Well, I guess you could say I like The…

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Thought Catalog

1. I am going to face it.

Don’t run away from it. Don’t treat it like it’s not there, like it has never happened — this will only prolong the period of suffering, and delay the healing. Talk about it, not avoid it. Things only get nastier when you try to sweep them under the carpet. Face that bitch right in the face. If it’s gonna hurt, it will. But after that, it will be fine. It will get better.

2. This pain is necessary for growth.

You tell yourself that it is NOT all bad and no good — that something good CAN come out of it. That through pain you become stronger and better as a person. That going through tough things and shit situations are part and parcel of life. People can break your heart, but it is up to you whether to seal it up on…

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